Drug addict

My mother said to me, "Angie do not post this picture you look like you are on drugs". I was and have been in severe pain for some time now,I'm getting older, I'm tired, pain does that to you, that's what you see, not drug abuse.


October has always been a bad month for me. My mothers birthday is in October, my father died and was buried in October...just too many things.

Today is October 30th, and again my mother and I are not speaking. I went through the range of emotions, first I was hurt, then angry and now resolved. I'm shocked at how quickly the cycle went this time. This is afterall, the third or fourth time now...HA! I lost count, that's sick.

October 1996 my Father, Gary Roberts passed on, with him so many unanswered questions and secrets. He was married with three kids when he left this earth, however, his first child was born in 1968 of which I cannot find. His name at birth was Patrick Michael Roberts, his mother was eskimo from Anchorage Alaska, my father met her when he was in the Air Force. Then there was my sister Sandy who died at 3 months old from crib death, Dad said Mom was never the same after that day. Apparently, she found her in that state when she went to get her from her nap...I would never be the same either.

1970 here I am! 3 months later they divorced.There would be 4 more men to try to be "daddy" in the next 9 years.

 Then there is my sister who I found online who I adore and has filled such a gap in my life as well as her family.

I may not look glamorous and beautiful on the outside but I'm rich on the inside and feel I have so much love to give, it's like someone in the ocean who drinks the water and because the water is salty the thirst is never quenched.

A child starved of love and nuturing is the same, you can never get enough, even into adulthood the thirst is never quenched ever. I'm so glad I'm not ashamed to say "I love you" I'm so happy to be free with my emotions, nobody in my life when I die someday will ever wonder how I felt about them.